ExpletiveDeleted: lyrics

[Hermia:] That’s it!
Thou un-feeling fickle changeling,
Thou vacant shag-eared remnant for sooth!
Rank man! The veriest misleader that ever dared to chew with a tooth!
[Lysander:] Rotten thing, tedious weak and writhled shrimp!  Blunt monster with uncountable heads!
[Hermia:] Um, hedgepig?  You dunghill groom,
A corpse who thinks he’s not dead!
[Lysander:] Valient flea!
[Hermia:] Abject drudge!
[Lysander:] Snipe!
[Hermia:] Dogfish!
[Both:] YOU...

[Chorus:]
[Ensemble:] Expletive deleted!  It’s a simple game.
Finding diplomatic ways to call them names.
It’s a shame; it’s all for show,
And I don’t know why the expletive has been deleted!

[Lysander:] This common customer, this unbaked and doughy youth
Thinks he’s half the gentleman I am.
This lily-livered, one-trunk-inheriting slave,
He is the weakest, dullest peasant in the camp!
[Demetrius:] Thou chaos!  Lewd compounded clay-man!  Thou superfluous lacky, you noisome stench!
Indigest-deformed lump, go plead your grizzled love to that croaking wench!
[Hermia:] Vile worm!
[Demetrius:] Off fragment!
[Lysander:] Hag begone!
[All 3:] YOU...

[Chorus]

[Helena:] O stumbling block!  Thou illegitimate construction!  Anointed sovereign of sighs and groans!
Kitchen trull!  You mere anatomy, you snail, you simpring, bunchback, jaded JUNIOR drone!
[Hermia:] O, me!  You mean-born mildewed minion!  You bawdy brazen breeder of mutts!
[Helena:] O recreant limb!  You are naught but a stuffed cloakbag of guts!
[Hermia:] Dog-hearted daughter!
[Helena:] Slug!
[Demetrius:] Viperous traitor!
[Lysander:] Bug!
[All 4:] YOU...

[Chorus]

[Ensemble:] Expletive Deleted!
Obscenity excluded!  Profanity prevented!  Scurillity suspended!
Deleted! Excluded! Prevented! Suspended!
Dele-e-ted!