Month: August 2019

Frederic Laloux, on paying for his e-book:

There are books I bought that ended up not meaning much to me, while others have been deeply meaningful, even transformative.

Paying the same price [for both] has often felt a bit odd. Somehow, it would have felt right to pay less than the list price in some cases, and more in others. That’s why with the e-version of this book, I came up with the idea of offering the possibility of paying what feels right.

This concept is very much in line with a trend called the Gift Economy. It makes for more meaningful relationships, even with people we don’t meet, like an author. Paying a fixed price is rather transactional. It doesn’t honor the personal exchange that somehow happens between an author and a reader.

“Pay-What-Feels-Right” invites us to pause and reflect on the value we bring to one another, even at a distance through a book. I feel it brings some soul back into what is otherwise simply a business transaction.

For some of us, the freedom to give comes with just a bit of anxiety: what if I give too little, or too much? 

If this is the case for you, I’ve put down two tips you might find helpful. I share this in a playful spirit. There is no “right” or “wrong” amount, so take this lightly, relax, and have fun. 🙂

Frederic Laloux, “Tips for paying what feels right”

I’ve been thinking lately about how to implement this in other domains, such as software-as-a-service. It’s somewhat common today for prices to be negotiated, but rare for prices to be set by customers. Institutional buyers are specifically prohibited from “donating” money. Then again, donations are not tax-deductible if “gifts or services were provided in return”. And when is it considered discriminatory if different customers pay different prices?

I like the idea of “pay what feels right” as a type of negotiation, where the price is chosen using a framework of mutual benefit rather than mutual scarcity.

“Psychological abusers love to [accuse their targets] of overreacting or being too sensitive, so it is hard not to fall into the trap of internalizing their words as truth. … They will try to shift [blame] onto your lap and you must resist the temptation to receive it.

“Psychological abusers like to reconstruct history. They will take situations from the past, and in the retelling of the story, completely change what actually happened. It can be infuriating for survivors. It will often send them spiraling down emotionally. The key is to not follow the toxic person into their vortex of lies. … When a survivor remains steady, and is not spun by the actions of the toxic person, it shows the abuser’s own crazy behaviors much more clearly. … Some psychological abusers will rage at a survivor who firmly, but not in anger, talks back to them. If that is your situation, then [it may not be safe to stay in contact].

“[After you have established boundaries, psychological abusers often] come back around, making promises they will not, cannot, and have no intention of keeping. [Or they might] stir up an argument or some drama, [pushing] just the right buttons to try and get the survivor to reengage in argumentative contact. [Finally, expect] the toxic person to show off publicly in some manner. … They will attempt to make their life look as perfect and gloriously happy as possible.

“It is vitally important to remember that psychological abusers never change. [Survivors get] the most hurt when they think the toxic person is different, but the exact same level of disfunction returns. … Psychological abusers do not want to be any different, because the way they live their lives works for them. … Your hope of the person being better someday must come to an abrupt end.”

-Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse (ch. 10)

An appetite is completely different from an estimate. Estimates start with a design and end with a number. Appetites start with a number and end with a design. We use the appetite as a creative constraint on the design process.

This principle, called “fixed time, variable scope,” is key to successfully defining and shipping projects. […]

We apply this principle at each stage of the process, from shaping potential projects to building and shipping them. First, the appetite constrains what kind of a solution we design during the shaping process. Later, when we hand the work to a team, the fixed time box pushes them to make decisions about what is core to the project and what is peripheral or unnecessary.

-Ryan Singer, Shape Up: Stop Running in Circles and Ship Work that Matters (chapter 3)

In other words, the most effective way to achieve the desired level of quality is to narrow the scope rather than increasing the amount of time dedicated to the project. You can always follow up later with another project that extends the scope, if doing so is still important enough.